


Broken Wings

by lovemesomegaybois



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-30 20:28:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 1,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20103157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovemesomegaybois/pseuds/lovemesomegaybois
Summary: A bird with broken wings is considered by many to be a helpless case.





	1. Prologue

He wondered what he himself looked like. Were his eyes blazing with fire? Skin scorching hot with released fury? His teeth bared? Was he an angry red like the blood he soon would spill? Or were his eyes frozen with ice? Skin dead cold with unbothered calm? A blank shell? Was he a frigid blue like the corpse he soon would create?

Was he red or was he blue? He would have no way of knowing. He would never dare ask. The way they all looked at him was enough.


	2. He Should Have Known

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bird with broken wings is considered by many to be a helpless case.

It was obvious that he should have known.

He should have known that it was bound to happen someday. He was a fool not to think so. Even back when he was a Flying Grayson he remembered how stares lingered longer than they should’ve. He always knew how to attract attention. “So cute” they would say. With his dark Romanian skin, sky blue eyes, fit physic, and charming smile he always had eyes on him. The older he grew the more they looked.  
He should have known but maybe he was just naive. People liked to look at pretty things. They liked to touch them too. A hand ruffling his curls when the ringmaster told him he did a good job. Pressure in between in shoulder blades as a teacher personally guided him to his seat. The older he grew the more they touched.  
He should have known but maybe he didn’t want to see. How criminals liked to fight him hand to hand more than they did long distance. How he was able to get the upper hand in fights if he just swung his hips a little more than he should, drawing them nearer til he could strike. How his captors preferred to tie him up in a place they could reach. The older he grew the closer they came. 

He should have known and maybe he did. It was inevitable. And you can’t fight the inevitable.


	3. He Didn’t Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bird with broken wings is considered by many to be a helpless case.

It makes sense that he didn’t remember. 

He didn’t remember how he got there or how long he laid numb in that alley but he remembered it was cold and the ground was hard.  
He didn’t remember calling Bruce for help as it was an unspoken rule that when they fought they would ask anyone else for help if it meant avoiding each other. But he remembered that by doing so it would show he was desperate and the calvary was sure to come his way.  
He didn’t remember them finding him but he remembered it was Jason he heard yelling for Bruce to drive faster and he remembered it was Tim’s hands scouring, trying to find where he was injured.  
He didn’t remember them taking him into the cave but he remembered that damp smell filling his nostrils as well as the cold metal slab lying underneath his back.  
He didn’t remember what they were yelling at each other about but he remembered that they were loud, frantic and confused.  
He didn’t remember a lot of things but he remembered what was wrong. They wouldn’t find any real injuries, just small healed over scabs that they’ll pass off as being on patrol. They wouldn’t find any poison or drug in his system that was keeping him under, causing him to lay in that alley for days. It was his own conscious, the memories of the monster that kept him paralyzed. 

He remembered the one thing he wished he didn’t. And he would never forget.


	4. He Lied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bird with broken wings is considered by many to be a helpless case.

He knew he shouldn’t have but still he lied. 

He lied when he finally woke and they asked him what happened. He had heard them theorizing earlier about how it could’ve been Scarecrows new toxin. He said it was.  
He lied when they asked why he was crying and clawing at his skin. He said the toxin made him feel like he was on fire.  
He lied when they asked him why he couldn’t stand their touch. He said that it made the toxin worse.  
He lied when they asked him why he jumped when he heard Bruce’s deep voice. He said the toxin also made him sensitive to sounds.  
He lied when they asked if the morphine was helping the pain. He said it couldn’t help more.  
He lied when they asked if he was ok. He said he was fine. 

He was absolutely not fine. But they couldn’t know. They had been through enough. He would bare this burden alone for as long as he could.


	5. He Smiled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bird with broken wings is considered by many to be a helpless case.

He smiled to pretended like he was getting better.

He smiled so Jason would stop looking over his shoulder to make sure he was still there.  
He smiled so Tim would get more sleep and stop researching chemicals that made skin burn.  
He smiled so Damian would stop swearing vengeance and hiding how scared he was to see his big brother so distraught.  
He smiled so Bruce would stop chasing after a toxin that doesn’t exist.  
He smiled so Barbara would stop watching him with suspicion as if she knew something wasn’t quite right.  
He smiled so Alfred would stop worrying and furrowing his brow in concern. 

He smiled and it was fake and he hated it. But he played his part til he couldn’t.


	6. He Broke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bird with broken wings is considered by many to be a helpless case.

How much pressure does it take to break a birds wings? Not very much. 

He broke when the monster found him again. The monster wanted to see how its work held up.  
He broke when the monster brought his family to watch. It wanted an audience this time.  
He broke when the monster brought them to the same warehouse and tied them with the same chains.  
He broke when the monster asked how his little birdie was doing. His family watched on confused and worried.  
He broke when the rough hands that haunted his nightmares once again touched his skin. 

He couldn’t let it happen again. So he didn’t. He let his instincts that were screaming at him to get away take control. Trauma was gracious and took the memory away because he only blinked and it was over. He was free and the monster was dead.


	7. He Wondered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bird with broken wings is considered by many to be a helpless case.

He couldn’t remember so he wondered.

He wondered what the monster looked like before it hit the floor. Was it scared? Or was it grinning in sastifaction?  
He wondered what the monster sounded like. Did it gasp for one last breathe or did its neck just _crack_? And if it did crack he wondered if it sounded like his parents when they hit the circus floor.  
He wondered what it felt like. To feel the monsters spine break beneath his fingers, to dig his nails into its skin like the monster once did to him.  
He wondered what he himself looked like. Were his eyes blazing with fire? Skin scorching hot with released fury? His teeth bared? Was he an angry red like the blood he soon would spill? Or were his eyes frozen with ice? Skin dead cold with unbothered calm? A blank shell? Was he a frigid blue like the corpse he soon would create?

Was he red or was he blue? He would have no way of knowing. He would never dare ask. The way they all looked at him was enough.


	8. He Felt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bird with broken wings is considered by many to be a helpless case.

He felt wary, shock, concern, fear, and even _disappointment_ radiating off his family. Their emotions made him grit his teeth. His own emotions were concerning enough. He didn’t feel remorse like he should.  
He felt satisfaction. The monster got what it deserved.  
He felt shame. Long had he claimed he would follow in Bruces footsteps and never cross that line. He didn’t know what he did now.  
He felt bitter. His family still hadn’t figured it out. They looked for answers in the smallest of places but were blind to the obvious option.  
He felt disgusting. He wanted nothing more than to throw himself into a tub of bleach and scrap off every bit of him that monster touched.  
He felt weak. He had fought off worse evils but still fell privy to the type of trauma that he should have escaped from.  
He felt angry. He had lost all that made him good and pure. His parents would hate what he had become. 

Most of all he felt loneliness trying to swallow him whole. Patrol. Work. Patrol. Work. He didn’t rest so he wouldn’t think. If he did think his grappling gun would still be in his apartment, and he would have nothing to slow his descent to the ground.


	9. He Cried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bird with broken wings is considered by many to be a helpless case.

He promised himself he wouldn’t cry but he did.

He cried when Barbara approached him saying she knew. He collapsed onto the ground in relief. She cooed and shushed him, holding him and saying everything was going to be alright.  
He cried when Jason gave him bone crushing hug when no one was looking. No Red Hood helmet was there to hide Jasons broken yet understanding face and the look in his eyes when he said that he was gonna help him get through this no matter what.  
He cried when Damian launched himself into his arms, the assassin not caring if he seemed weak. Damain sobbed out apologizes, asking for forgiveness for not protecting him better. He made it clear there was nothing to forgive.  
He cried when Tim gave him resources and found him the best therapist that he could. Tim said he should have noticed it sooner and that he’ll make sure everyone doesn’t treat him any differently or with any pity.  
He cried when Alfred made him his favorite blueberry pancakes and said that he was glad to have had a part in raising him.  
He cried when Bruce sat him down and told him about his own experience. About how Damian was really created. He cried harder when Bruce told him he loved him despite his actions and that he was still proud of his Robin

Everyone knew. Yet they stood tall like they always had. He should have never doubted.


	10. He Lived

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bird with broken wings is considered by many to be a helpless case.

It was a struggle and it took a while but he lived.

He lived despite sometimes feeling the monster lurking on his skin. Or seeing him out of the corner of his eye. Or smelling his stench on his suit.  
He lived despite the memories plaguing him through his dreams, giving him anxiety when he walked through a dark alley and choking him with panic when he gets restrained.   
He lived despite taking a life, a decision that might have corrupted his soul. That could have set him on a path of no return had his family not corrected his course.  
He lived by laughing at Jason’s corney jokes and Damian’s and Tim’s petty arguments.  
He lived by finally talking honestly to Bruce and Bruce talking honestly back, working through all their problems.   
He lived by marrying Barbara and leaning on her for comfort when he needed it.   
He lived by making sure that as long as he guarded Gotham and Blüdhaven no one would ever end up like him again.

He lived by learning how to soar again despite his broken wings. Because he was Robin. Because he was Nightwing. Because he was Dick Grayson. And godammit if he wasn’t born to fly.


End file.
